Role modeling with the Lean Cuisine diet. Who needs the reality check?

Adorable, yet strikingly painful. 

                              (If a video doesn't appear above, click here)

Young, school age children, sharing their observations about their moms’ and their dads’ eating. These are strictly their observations, without judgement— except for the stink of some of the cleansing pepper drinks they refer to. The contrast made by Lean Cuisine is that eating their frozen dinners as a strategy for weight loss—that is normal!

Well isn't it? Not unless you are a 4'8 woman, non-competitive athlete. To have one of your main meals of the day, your lunch or dinner, coming in under 300 calories is hardly adequate for most anyone. Yes, even though it does contain some carbs. And the suggestion that it, in itself, is a meal, an adequate meal, is quite problematic. Who do you blame when you are left feeling hungry after this meager intake? No one but yourself, no doubt. Calling it an appropriate meal replacement is misleading, unless you add a glass of milk, a fruit, a salad with some oil and vinegar or nuts, for instance.

We know all the Lean Cuisine eaters in this YouTube video have families, including kids—young, impressionable, school age kids. So let's think for a moment about dinner time in these homes. "Here, sweetie, you can eat the chicken dinner I made for the family, I'll just eat my (inadequate, 300 calorie) frozen meal. You know, because I need to lose weight." Or "You deserve to eat this great tasting meal I've made, but not me—I'm too fat!" Or maybe, "Why don't we all live on Lean Cuisines, so you can have control over your portions too; because I don't really trust that I or you can manage when there is more than a limited amount of food in front of me!"

Fast-forward several years and let’s imagine these innocent kids as adolescents. Do they feel entitled to eat an adequate plate of food? Or do they, like many a patient I've heard from, feel limited by the messages they heard from their parents (yes, parents, because dads put forth much of the same diet shtick so to speak). Like Dana, she may struggle to ever eat more than half a sandwich—that's how much her mother allowed herself. And like Allie, she might be counting her calories, limiting them to the boxed frozen dinner amount that her mom thought was right.

What do these kids end up taking from this? That their frozen-diet-dinner-dependent moms are the sane ones, as the video implies? Or that their moms and dads (and maybe them, too, when they’re grown ups) dislike their bodies, and certainly can't trust themselves, their ability to eat enough, their body's signals, their ability for their body to be forgiving if they ate a bit too much one day. They learn that normal family dinners are things other people can have, but not them. This is just the price they have to pay to lose weight.

Are you stuck in this place? 

Are you the adult child of such a dieter, who never learned to trust her own eating? Or simply struggling as of late, desperately dieting, relying on prepackaged foods and calorie-restricted meals? Consider cooking--see the recommendations made by "Thursday's patient" to ease the process, or check out Food to Eat for more support, with its 25 recipes in an easy to manage format, justifying the merits of each dish and its nutrient content. Serving sizes are suggested, but are by no means restrictive. Suggestions to enhance the meals are provided, along with sections to help you get out of your own way--to change your perspective about food and respond to your needs. And check out the links below, including sample recipes.

Kudos to Lean Cuisine for pointing out how crazy our culture is, with moms and dads filled with body loathing following all sorts of nonsensical diets. If only they can see that their video stopped short of pointing out the irony of their own product.

http://dropitandeat.blogspot.com/2010/08/size-matters-but-not-how-you-think.html

http://dropitandeat.blogspot.com/2011/03/normal-eating-taken-too-far.html

http://dropitandeat.blogspot.com/2011/02/who-or-what-decides-how-much-you-eat.html

http://dropitandeat.blogspot.com/2010/11/honor-thy-hunger-and-thy-fullness.html

And from Food to Eat: 

http://dropitandeat.blogspot.com/2010/11/pecan-pumpkin-pancakes-you-can-feel.html

http://dropitandeat.blogspot.com/2010/10/how-to-cook-healthy-meal-before-eating.html

How Not to Be a Shrinking Woman

I don't know Lily Myers, whose YouTube clip follows, but I know lots of 'Lily Myers'. She is strong and powerful as she describes her mother and herself and the culture which helped to shape her, for better and for worse. She is painfully aware of eating disorders and the grip they can have on us.

Please watch it. But don't blame your mothers, or your grandmothers, just as you can't blame them for the cancer and diabetes genes they pass on to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQucWXWXp3k&app=desktop#!

And make your voice heard--please don't keep silent, waiting for all the others to share their seemingly more important thoughts.

What did you think of her poetry?

Parenting Without Disorder: It's Not Too Late to Role Model

Stir Crazy Grace  August 5, 2013 at 1:46 AM

"Thank you, thank you, for normalizing (re-normalizing?) normal food and normal eating! As a mom, I am also doing my best to give these attitudes to my family. My challenge, besides the fact that I deal with my own food issues, is an overeating spouse who likes to bring the child along on his path. Would you ever address anything like that? How we, with food issues, deal with being responsible in our families for being the provider of nutrition and shaper, to some degree, of the attitudes there? I always look forward to your posts! Thank you!"

I grew up on Whoopie Pies but I prefer a
good scone these days.

Thank you, SC Grace, for asking and prompting this post. It is not too late to change your eating, nor to model a healthy relationship with food, even if you've struggled during your own childhood. So I'll share a bit about my own experience as a child, a young adult, and as a mom.

I grew up on Lucky Charms and Capt’n Crunch for breakfast. Mayonnaise sandwiches on Wonder white bread was my frequent snack of choice which I'd help myself to; I’d pull a chair up to the refrigerator to reach the shiny metal bread box at the top, clad in my Pjs, while my mom slept early am—I was preschool age then. I don't think I was sneaking—although I don't know what she'd have said if she found me climbing above the fridge and eating.

I ate everything, including cooked-to-death canned vegetables—I loved the rubbery mushrooms and the flaccid asparagus spear pieces the best—and fried liver and onions. Really.  Casseroles made with those goopy canned soups—high in fat, saturated fat, and sodium, and low in fiber—these were the norms. And I guess even then I paid attention to how I experienced food.  I was free to eat cookies—and ice cream and cakes—but only after I finished my meal. Somehow that was never a problem for me. I do recall many a comment about what an appetite I had. Yes, compared to sedentary adults who were not growing, my needs, like those of all growing children, were great.

I never encouraged grapefruit--it was just always one of his favorites.
Go figure.

Then my mom went through her dieting jags. I turned to grapefruit and dry toast with black coffee and salads for lunch—just vinegar, please. Fish, cooked dry—and it tasted it—with merely a sprinkle of all-the same-on-everything seasoning. Oh, and plenty of cottage cheese—low fat of course. No fresh garlic, just powdered. No herbs. No tasty olive oil. Minimal pleasure, I’ll add.

Yup, it's me in my college years. (As promised, Cate!)

And when I was college age and gained more than the freshman fifteen, I was told that I could use to lose about 20 pounds. There was no exploration of the why, no guidance on the how. My mom did instruct me to hold my stomach in, however. I restricted my eating at times, and binged at others. I became rigid about how things were prepared (heaven forbid there was something added that I didn't know about) and I even had a short-lived period as a vegetarian.

Fast forward

Over the years, my own eating normalized. Yes, I realize that's a rather passive statement. I can't quite say how it happened, though, as I never sought help—I never had something one would have known how to label back then. By today's DSM, I'd be labeled a restrictive binge eater.

And then, of course, I became an RD, and after some years, had a family.

Some things will come intuitively--if you let them be.

In spite of my profession, my sons were the least educated of all their classmates in areas of food and nutrition. They didn't know a carb from a fat, and were never taught that they had to finish their 'healthy' food before eating dessert. Ice cream was an acceptable snack—when it was eaten in the kitchen, at the table, no TV in sight. French toast, pancakes and waffles with real maple syrup the norm in our home. They did know that Frosted Flakes was more candy then cereal—and they were tuned in to be critical viewers of the media. It never struck me as problematic when my son had a fuller build, appropriate before his adolescent growth spurt.

In their later years of high school and into college the discussions began. They wanted to know if what they were hearing was true—like whey protein for muscle development? And what’s the story about eating late at night? And are refined carbs as bad as they say?

But really, they already knew the answers. They knew from seeing how we ate that a varied diet was appropriate. And they heard that food was something to be consumed both for fuel and for pleasure. They learned that food was neither to be used as a treat, a reward for good behavior, nor to be withheld as a punishment for bad behavior nor for eating too much. And they had learned to trust their bodies.

And now?

I just spent 4 days on a mini vacation with my husband and my 2 20+year old sons, and what I heard and saw only reaffirms this parenting approach.

I learned that my elder son mixes his cereals at work, where he eats breakfast daily on workdays.  Approximately one third is Frosted Flakes, 2/3 regular Cheerios. Or, there's Kashi Heart to Heart—with a bit of Lucky Charms thrown in—for sugar, or maybe even nostalgia, I suspect. And at our local dairy where the ice cream is oh-so-rich and the portions are crazy large, my almost 6'2” boys order a ‘kiddie’—a single scoop—because it’s just as much as they need.

My adult kids enjoy fine food out—and their share of cheap, quick food—but in moderation. Son #2 would choose fresh blueberries or a fruit laden dessert over chocolate any day. And they’re both as excited about the farm-fresh tomatoes we’ve recently gotten as I am. Meals are eaten at the table—eating in the bedroom or the family room is just not happening—at least when they're home; I can’t speak for what happens in their own space.

They might be momentarily engaged with some texting, but for the most part, meals are mindfully consumed. They talk about the flavors—their preference for one vinegar or oil over another—and they choose foods they enjoy. They are foodies—with all that connotes—but mostly it speaks to their appreciation for how food tastes. Both my sons enjoy eating—and cooking.

As for spouses: I could never have raised my kids as I did if my husband countered my messages with talk of 'good foods' vs 'bad foods'. Or if he told them that they couldn't have seconds. Or if he continually prompted them to eat—even if they weren't hungry.

Most important, talk to your partner so you can be consistent in the message you put out there. And when your spouse isn’t on board, address the issue away from the ears of your children. Arguing around food is the last thing you want to be doing. Food and eating shouldn’t be stressful.

Educate your partner—do they get it? Maybe they have no reason to get it, given little personal experience with a food struggle. Or maybe they are so stuck in their patterns that they aren’t too self aware. Perhaps you can make the connections for them. They just might need some direction.

Remember it's not too late to modify your approach—just be consistent with your message. Focus on health and self care, on listening to and respecting one's body, versus targeting a change in weight.

Hope that helps.

Comments are both welcome and encouraged! Thanks for reading.

Putting a Squeeze on a Family Ritual: Starting Bad Habits Early

Sure, it was messy but it was so good!

How sweet! Cute little pouches of pureed food—not for infants but for toddlers to slurp up. Designed for eating on the run, they also help to appease the difficult feeder. You know, when you fear your picky eater might starve by not eating her peas. 

And, they’re convenient for the challenged parent, juggling work and the demands of raising kids. Perfect for soothing the fussy little one while watching TV or simply while riding in the car. Allows for hands-free feeding so you can easily be typing on your ipad or dealing with work issues by phone while productively feeding your little one, too!

Professor Brian Wansink, the fabulous researcher known for his work on environment and eating behaviors may be ambivalent about these, but my opinions are solid. I would never feed these newly popular foods in a pouch (described in the NY Times article Putting a Squeeze on a Family Ritual) to my kids. Never mind that my sons are in their twenties (years, not months, that is). Still, if I did have toddlers, these would be the last things I'd purchase to feed my children.

Now before you leave this page thinking this is irrelevant to you—that you, too, have no young kids to feed, nor care to learn about approaches to feeding toddlers—let me make a point: this has everything to do with you and with managing your weight. You’ll likely learn as much about feeding yourself and self-regulating your own intake as you might your kids.

So what’s my problem, you’re thinking? Let me highlight a few of my concerns.

Distracted eating

Yes, that's a grapefruit he's eating. With a spoon. Not pureed.

Mindful eating enables us to fully appreciate our food with all our senses. And it slows us down. In doing so, we can better appreciate when we’ve had enough, helping to prevent overeating. Distracted eating—eating while on the phone, while watching TV, or even while jumping on the trampoline (an example pulled from this NY Times article) is anything but mindful.  Eating while distracted may lead to overeating. (Although, for those anorexic patients I see, it may enable eating food that wasn’t intended—and that could be a good thing). It is challenging enough to change behaviors in adulthood that perhaps only started recently. I could only imagine what it would be like to shift these behaviors in adults raised mindlessly sucking down pureed food goo.

Regulation of juices, sodas and mush? Not so easy.

It’s well established that we don’t do a very good job regulating our intake of caloric beverages such as juices and sodas. It’s challenging for our body to recognize when it has had enough calories from such beverages, so we certainly need to be aware of our portions. Again, for some needingto increase their intake, this form of nourishment is quite helpful. Less has been explored about the impact on feeding a less-than-solid but greater than liquid calorie diet, such as the slush-from-a-pouch.

Mealtime a thing of the past? Are we really too busy to parent? To nourish our kids with attention, with positive interaction, and with calories and other nutrients?

Even when camping, there's time for meals.

Maybe I’m an idealist, but I cherished the family dinner with my young family. It was a time to connect, to hear about their day, to be present. Sure, when the little ones would toss their food off their tray it would come to an abrupt end. But it was good while it lasted. And it established a tradition that lasted throughout the years (the family eating, not the throwing of food!) It was a time we were all theirs—we were not blogging, texting or talking on the phone. We were simply present—if only just for the mealtime.

If we don’t have time for what may be our most important job—parenting—it’s really a sad state we’re in. An acquaintance recently stated that he had no time to deal with exploring college options for his daughter with special needs—he had some very important business deals that needed his full-time attention! Seems like parents choosing feeding pouches may feel similarly.

Gone is the motivation for change.

Feeding our kids is often what motivates parents to shape up their own diet and eating behaviors. They want their children’s experiences to be positive—to feel good about their body, to be healthy and fit. They care about their little ones’ intake, but had previously not given much thought to their own eating. Having kids can change that, unless of course, family meals are eliminated. Gone is the need for role modeling and healthier eating for parents.

What’s normal and appropriate anyway?

Perhaps because we view smoothies and meal replacement shakes as eating, pouches fit the bill for our little ones. But what about the experience of eating? It’s enough that movies go with popcorn, and we need hot dogs at baseball games. Must we solidify the link from the youngest age, between eating and other activities? Must riding in a car be accompanied by fueling your body? Will they not expect to be eating, mindlessly, once they start to drive? I mean, isn’t that what they’ll have learned to associate with doing whenever they’re in the car?

Neil Grimmer, chief executive of Plum Organics, sees it as empowering children. “It’s on-the-go snacking, on-the-go nourishment,” he said. “It moves with kids and puts the control in their hands.” Seems to me that these days kids have more control in their hands than they need or want—perhaps limit setting would be a more appropriate parenting approach.

He further endorses feeding in response to hunger, and I’m all for that! In my mind, that necessitates parents connecting with their children and being aware of their cues. You know, taking note of when they start pushing their food away, when they have had enough. Or providing them with an additional few bites of cheese when they have finished what you served—just to see how much they truly need.  When they’re done, they will make it clear! This is quite different than serving a predetermined 100-calorie portioned food pouch. But the convenience of these foods and their inappropriate use in so many situations far from tunes in to a child’s hunger. See how this might be relevant for you, too?

Grimmer also states “Regular mealtimes just add one more item to the schedule”. Bummer. Now you have to deal with those kids you decided to have! Hain Celestial Group, the company that makes Earth’s Best baby food, sees it as the solution for the child who wants to be independent and self-feed. How about teaching them to use a fork or starting them on finger foods? Toddlers are developmentally ready for more than slush from a pouch!

This old momma thinks it’s time to shift our thoughts about feeding—our kids, and ourselves.

Supersized Disaster

Yes, that's a 44 oz individual serving of soda!

I never recommend soda to my patients or my family members. And I cringe when I walk into fast food restaurants (only to use the bathroom, of course) or a movie theater and see single serving cups in the range of 32-44 ounces. It’s obscene. That volume of sugar devoid of other nutrients, consumed at a single sitting is crazy. Our society has a distorted sense of what normal portions are—not just for beverages, but for food as well. The only place I’ve been able to find a true juice glass, a 4 or 6-ounce size, has been at antique stores. Really. So I support NYC’s Mayor Bloomberg’s recent ban on the sale of supersized sodas, right?

Not at all. While the mayor is desperately trying to change a growing trend of overconsumption and obesity, his new policy restricting the sale of sodas larger than 16 oz is absurd on so many levels.

While I take my freedom for granted, having never lived anywhere that restricted my personal choices, including what I eat, the thought of a law limiting the size of my portions feels, well, un-American. Mark my word; if they try to restrict my purchase of cupcakes after 8 PM, for instance, I’ll start hoarding them at 7. I mean it.

Who decides what you're allowed to eat and how much?

It’s quite a slippery slope. Who decides that Sprite is out, but grape juice is fine? Or that 24 oz smoothies are ok, but soda is not?  Maybe they should halt the sale of those cardiac-inducing hot dogs sold on food carts throughout NY, instead? Sure, there’s nutritional value in the smoothy, but if the driving force behind this policy is obesity and health—why would 24 or more caloric ounces of anything accompanying a meal be appropriate?

Next, will NYC next set limits on who can buy these large caloric beverages? Will we need to weigh-in at the food carts on 5^thAvenue—high BMI? You get the under 16 oz regular soda or the diet one; low BMI? Youmay choose the supersized drinks—but ONLY those drinks with calories—no diet beverages for you. 

Should we perhaps ban the sale of large portions of diet beverages, given that they displace the calories and nutrients desperately needed by those with eating disorders and those simply underweight?

And what about cost? Can we not buy a bottle of soda at the deli to share with others, resulting in a smaller portion and less cost per person? Bloomberg’s ruling prohibits this.

The unforseen consequences

What message does it send if 16-ounce beverage portions—regular or diet—are considered the norm? Our caloric needs vary; for some, 16 oz of juice is absolutely appropriate. For others, it’s excessive for their need. But a law stating that 16 ounces is fine or distinguishing between soda and juice as healthy versus unhealthy creates a hierarchy people will believe is valid—when it’s not. If we are talking about weight management it's about calories, and a Coke is no different than a bottle of 100% juice. 

Should those with high blood pressure be forbidden
 this heavily salted popcorn?

I understand that simply educating the public to improve health is at best challenging. We are impacted by visual stimuli and sensory prompts to eat, as well as our perception--not just information about what and how much is healthy to consume. Prompted by the suggestion that you can size up for only 75 cents more (which I overheard at the movies yesterday), most of us will go for it. If you perceive that you haven’t eaten much you will continue eating, regardless of your fullness. And if you believe that 16 ounces is appropriate--because the Mayor believes it's fine for your health-- you may be more inclined to select the 16 oz size than something smaller.

If they’re going to set rules…

Perhaps there are better alternatives than Bloomberg’s to reduce our excessive intake—if or when it is unhealthy for the individual. How about a pricing policy removing the financial incentive to size up? If ordering the 32 oz soda vs the 16 oz adds $1.20 vs 20 cents, I suspect there’d be more thought before supersizing.

Yes, this is for real. And financially more sensible that the 32 oz
 which was more expensive per ounce!

Or what about a rule allowing individuals to bring their own snacks into a movie—maybe healthier popcorn from home? Or limiting movie-theater food to a specific eating area as opposed to in front of the screen? Can we not go 90 minutes without a feeding? Why are we encouraging distracted eating, when all evidence supports mindful eating helps us better regulate our intake and our weight?

Yes, something needs to be done to improve the health of our nation. But setting arbitrary boundaries on portions, about good beverages and bad, is hardly the answer. And the fallout from this perhaps well-intended policy may only result in more problems.


And I thought I lived in the liberal Northeast...