Halloween Candy—An Annual Treat? You’re only tricking yourself.

Eat the candy. Break the rules!


Halloween candy doesn’t have to be scary. That is, if candy and sweets aren’t viewed as evil. We never called it junk food in my house. Junk food, by definition is high in calories and low in nutritional value. And while there may be little nutritional merit to candy, anyone who has ever eaten a fine piece of chocolate knows better than to call it junk. There is value in the form of pleasure that we get when we eat foods that taste good, and take the time to truly enjoy the experience. And in the scheme of things, it is better to allow ourselves to include these satisfying sweets—not just on Halloween, for one night, but throughout the year.

Halloween in our home

From their earliest years, after trick or treating, I had my kids place their candy in plastic bags, each marked with their names. We then placed their stash in a kitchen drawer, easily accessible to them. Candy was to be eaten in the kitchen—not with the TV, not in the bedroom—and they could opt to take a piece or two to have with their lunches at school as well. When they were hungry for a snack, they could opt for a Snickers, Kit Kat or whatever delighted them, perhaps with a glass of milk, eaten mindfully at the table.

It may be hard to believe, but their Halloween reserve lasted well into the next year, with the least desirable candies remaining until the following October. Unlike the approach taken by many, I did not restrict their access to candy, warn them that at the end of the week the rest would be thrown out, or send them (the candies, not the kids) to my husband’s office. As a result, I believe they trusted that the candy was going to be there. It was not “now or never” eating chocolate. And they were not told to finish their vegetables in order to earn their candy. And they never binged on candy, or anything else, for that matter.

When my kids were little, we never bribed them with candy, not even to potty train, as many parents do. Ok, that’s a lie. There was one time my husband and I decided to bribe our sons, then 5 and 7, to motivate them. It was their first really hard hike in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, a trail up to almost 5,300 foot elevation, an almost 9 mile hike round trip. Seemed necessary at the time to hand out the Skittles one by one as they progressed along their challenging climb. While it’s definitely not my style to use food rewards, I must admit it worked. To this day, my boys have a love of hiking to great heights (although I’d caution that it wasn’t solely the result of the Skittles!)

This may seem like a crazy approach, legalizing junk food, but it works. It’s valuable for you, and if you have them, for your kids. And it’s not too late to change the system, to let go of the rules. As for weight management, where does that fit in with my freedom to eat candy? Perfectly! Restricting access to desirable and enjoyable foods hardly solves or improves our relationship with food. It increases demand, and makes us feel deprived. And even if you see some short term “success”, I caution you to look at the big picture. What was your experience around chocolate weeks later? How did you handle social eating situations when you finally had exposure and access to those beloved sweets? And did restricting these items, the junk food, solve your eating problems?

I return to that definition of insanity, referenced in a previous post. It makes no sense to maintain the same thinking and approach to eating hoping that this time it might work. Perhaps it’s time to sit down with a good piece of chocolate, add a glass of milk or chai tea, and truly enjoy it!

Happy Halloween!

Fairytales Of Weight Management.

Everything was stunning, from the calligraphy-adorned table assignments to the flickering candle-lit tables with their elegant glass and floral arrangements. My sea bass begged to be photographed in its Asian inspired preparation. And the desserts were splendid to watch disappear. Sorry, I was so busy enjoying them that I totally forgot to take photos! And then there were the guests. Truly gorgeous, strikingly so, every one of them. I aspire to be as healthy looking and as fit as my 60 and 70- something year old aunts, uncles and second cousins—really!

You might naively look around the room and yearn to be like the beautiful guests—happy, seemingly carefree, enjoying the celebration, apparently having it all. But just like everyone else, they aren’t free from knowing pain and suffering. They’d struggled with depression, in years past and present and lost loved ones prematurely, like my Dad, a non-smoker, who died of lung cancer. There was my beautiful, sweet cousin whose permanent absence resulted from a drug overdose and attendees present because they survived in spite of themselves. “It’s so great to see you up there dancing”, I was reminded by an acquaintance, acknowledging not only my diagnosis with MS, but the difficulties her mother struggles with, with the very same disease.

It’s easy to project onto others, to assume that everyone else has it easy—that they manage everything with ease, and can even effortlessly manage their weight, eating whatever they want—but that you are different. You may watch someone eating a meal, a small part of their day’s intake, then believe they eat that way all the time, with such control, perhaps. Yet you have no idea what they are really going through beneath the surface. You may conclude that you, and you alone, struggle with eating (and other) issues.

It may seem strange, but this has everything to do with managing your weight.

If you start comparing yourself to someone else at the table resisting dessert, you may feel bad about yourself as you clean your plate of chocolate cake.  Even if others are enjoying dessert, you may think that you are not entitled, that the same rules just don’t apply. “You shouldn’t be eating that”, you may say to yourself. And that bad feeling may lead you to thinking that you already blew it, that it just isn’t worth trying anymore, resulting in the “what-the-heck-effect”. And this can trigger continued slips, in terms of eating and eating disordered behaviors, causing you to sabotage your own efforts to stay on course. And then you’re left feeling even worse.

We can’t help but compare ourselves to others, or so it seems to me. But we can focus on better meeting our own needs, regardless of what others are doing. Take half the prime rib home, or ask for a sauce on the side, if it makes eating out easier. You’re not alone in your struggles with food! Don’t just go with the flow, if you’re not comfortable doing so. And don’t eat to be like the others, or not eat to be like the others, as the case may be. But listen to your body and its signals.

Ask for foods the way you’d like them, to help manage challenging situations. Tend to overeater? Remind yourself that this is not your last chance to eat this delicious food. Move foods off their lists. You know, the good food, and the bad food lists, allowing yourself to eat what you truly enjoy—but just as much as you truly need. It really helps, and it’s quite liberating! And remind yourself that every day should start with a clean slate (not a clean plate!)—a fresh start, even if you’ve eaten way beyond your need the day before. It’s the only way to break the cycle.

By the way, that beautiful couple in the photo? My parents, divorced after 27 less-than-perfect years of marriage.

Making Peace with vegetables. Therapist Not Included.

Practical, yummy guidance to boost your veggie intake.

Chewy canned mushrooms. Mushy, salty asparagus. Bland, flavorless iceberg lettuce salad, topped with cellophane wrapped barely orange-colored tomatoes. Ok, these were crisp and crunchy, as least (the salad as well as the cellophane). These are the vegetables of my childhood. To this day, accidentally biting my cheek conjures up memories of the texture of those mushrooms. And imagine my surprise when I first saw asparagus growing, standing upright, unsupported and firm, with no resemblance to the canned version of my past!

I had blocked out all memory of those vegetable experiences like a traumatic upbringing, until I was reminded that others’ experiences of vegetables were similar. My aunt Nancy recalls that she was forced to sit at the table, sometimes for hours, until she finished every last pea on her plate. And my patient, Susan, recently related her memory of vegetables being boiled and bland and abominable.

So why would we make peace with this food group? It’s got to take more than the motivation to help our future health.  You know, to prevent cancer, or to help with wound healing or to help maintain healthy nerves or cell function. So abstract! So not-important-in-the-here-and-now to me, or you, I suspect. So knowledge of their health benefit won’t motivate us, but perhaps the evidence about weight management will? (see last post). Eating vegetables (and other high fiber foods) does help us manage our weight. And when you know what to do with them, they are so enjoyable and taste wonderful. Yes, I mean wonderful! Now that’s a reason to start to eat them.

But then there are all the obstacles. Perhaps you associate eating veggies like the three of us described above. And then there’s the need to have them available before they go bad. And the confidence to prepare them in a way that’s tasty. Unless the benefits outweight the negatives, veggies just won’t make it to your plate. So here are some suggestions.

Roast a bunch of root vegetables. 

I love this in the Fall and winter! Buy ready peeled and cut, or if time allows, do your own. Carrot, parsnip, turnip, butternut squash, sweet potato and beets work really well, but feel free to pick and choose. I make a big pan of these, and then they shrink up quite a bit, getting a bit crispy around the edges. Leftovers freeze really well and can be microwave reheated.

Here’s how I do it:      

    

Roasted Root Vegetables

Preheat oven to 400. Toss the veggies in a large pan, with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Keep them to a single layer or the texture will be mushy, and you know I don’t want that to happen! Add about ¼ cup of warm water containing about a tablespoon of sugar diluted. Add herbs if you like—thyme and rosemary work well. Cook for about 45 minutes or longer, mixing occasionally. Don’t cover unless you like soft and wet!

Take advantage of convenience. 

Precut and washed vegetables take no time at all to deal with. They are typically available at great prices from Wholesale clubs like BJs, Costco, etc. (sorry international readers—I don’t know of the equivalent stores out your way!) Here are some simple, healthy and tasty preps: 

          

• First sauté some garlic, onion or shallots, until translucent (they become like opaque glass).  Use a heavy skillet, or non-stick pan, with a drizzle of olive oil for additional flavor. Then add reduced sodium chicken stock. Freeze the leftover stock in ice cube trays or small zip lock bags to use for next time.

            

• Or, substitute balsamic vinegar for the chicken stock. This works really well with asparagus and green beans.

            

• Steam or sauté broccoli. Then add a few shakes of rice vinegar. A drop of sesame oil will also enhance the flavor.

             

Buy frozen. 

Plain frozen vegetables are so convenient. I get the large family size bags, snip the corner and throw them in the pan as mentioned above. This works well when I run out of the fresh stuff. They could also be microwaved.

Buy prewashed baby greens for a quick salad. 

But make it taste good! Add a drizzle of a flavorful oil (roasted walnut of extra virgin olive) and a mild vinegar, such as rice or balsamic. Fresh mint or basil is divine, but even dried herbs like oregano, garlic powder and tarragon taste great. Try a drizzle of real maple syrup or honey mixed in! Then add salt and pepper to taste, if desired.

Use canned pumpkin. 

A great addition to pancakes, and quick breads (an easy substitute for any part of the liquid/wet ingredients), and there are great recipes for pumpkin (or butternut squash) soups.

Add vegetables to soups and stews, even when they are not called for. I add lots of veggies to chili—carrots, peppers, onions, and to beef stew—green beans in addition to the carrots and potato called for.

Be inspired by farmers’ markets and local produce stands, where fresh vegetables look like art and are so inviting.

So make peace with your relationship with vegetables and leave your mushy, canned goods behind. It really is hard to ruin these preparations, so don’t let the lack of precise measurements in these suggestions scare you.

Have a good recipe or an easy veggie tip? I welcome your suggestions!