Eating Disorder Recovery: Reflections from the Boston Bombing

I listened to the President’s speech at the Memorial Service for the victims of the marathon bombings. And by victims, I mean not just those who were at the finish line and had personally witnessed the explosions; not just those who were injured with shrapnel from nails and ‘BBs’, many of whom lost limbs and their ability to work at their trades. But those of us in the Boston area, and those of you living further from the scene who have lost a piece of our hearts through this trauma.

Maybe I spend too much time addressing eating disorders, and in no way do I intend to minimize the trauma experienced by this horrific event by saying this. But I see so many parallels between this Boston tragedy and living with an eating disorder. Are you thinking I'm crazy yet? After endless hours fixed to the news, here’s what I’ve observed:

• Both events try to steal from us our ability to live normal lives, to be carefree and relaxed.
• Both appear to arise out of nowhere, through no action on our part. We are victims of bombings, and we are victims of our eating disorders. Sure, eating disorders can be triggered by a trauma or even a diet, but only in certain people. Neither advertisements nor parents cause eating disorders. We can be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and we can have the unfortunate genetic makeup combined with triggers that set off our eating disorders.
• Both cause harm that leaves its mark on our memory, which permanently sensitizes us. Of course we may fully recover but both events. But having suffered with an eating disorder we may be more sensitive to others who live with this condition, and we may have a heightened awareness of the triggers which set it off.
• It takes a great deal of support from a range of sources to move on following both this bombing tragedy and an eating disorder—medical experts, mental health counselors, dietitians in the case of an eating disorder, and those whose experience with such traumas allows you to trust that recovering is possible.
• Both require you to realize why it's worth pushing to get through—in spite of the difficulty, the depression, the frustrations, the disappointments.

Yes, you can get through this.

If you’re suffering from the continuing uncertainty of this past week’s events—with a terrorist still at large, or you struggle with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder, be defiant; do not submit to suffering silently or passively. And do not accept that this is simply the way it has to be, that you are simply doomed to live your life a victim of your disorder.

Be determined to take charge—to not allow your eating disorder or acts of terror to steal your precious life from you. Declare that you'll show up in Boston for the next Marathon to run or to root, and that you'll work to get yourself healthy to not be a victim of your eating disorder.

Intuitive Eating is not for you—maybe not just yet, and maybe not ever.

“Have you lost your mind? You, the anti-calorie-counting dietitian, the believer in legalizing all things chocolate and trusting that everything will be okay? Are you suggesting I should start dieting now, or head to the nearest Weight Watchers meeting and start counting points? Or doing the Paleo thing?”

Nothing of the sort! I’m prompted to write this following two experiences I had at the MEDA conference, that wonderful eating disorder conference held in the Boston area this past weekend. And this pertains to those of you with anorexia as well as those struggling with overeating—compulsive or otherwise.

So I was casually walking in the hall after the keynote presentation by Dr. Roberto Olivardia just killing time until the next break when I’d be selling my book. And I overhear two women, representatives from two respectable eating disorder programs chatting up their programs. “We use an intuitive eating approach with our patients”, she stated. “We don’t use meal plans, but instead have them listen to their body…” Ok, anorexic readers and eating disorder professionals, anything strike you as a bit problematic here? Let’s start with a handy, wiki definition:

“Intuitive eating is a nutrition philosophy based on the premise that becoming more attuned to the body's natural hunger signals is a more effective way to attain a healthy weight, rather than keeping track of the amounts of energy and fats in foods. It's a process that is intended to create a healthy relationship with food, mind and body, making it a popular treatment for disordered eating and eating disorders…”

For starters, to learn to be more attuned to your hunger, to begin to trust it, you need to be able to sense it. Most individuals, by the time they make it to see me, no longer really notice their hunger—not if they’re restricting and not if they are frequently binge eating. With the metabolic slowdown characteristic of food restrictors, hunger gets suppressed, and so that handy cue to get you to eat, that signal you’re supposed to be trusting—it’s largely disappeared! And that “healthy relationship with food” which we all aspire to is just not going to happen with all those unhealthy and distorted thoughts about food and eating and your appearance. Further, if you’ve never had a healthy relationship with food—never trusted your hunger because you went from overeating to undereating, it’s mighty challenging to just start trusting yourself. And for good reason, given your past experience with food and self-regulating.

When I shared my opinions (you didn’t expect I’d just casually stroll past, did you?) the program rep agreed, acknowledging that intuitive eating is an approach they address much later in recovery. We both agreed that normalizing eating under someone else’s direction (a dietitian with eating disorder expertise, for instance), needs to happen first, much before an intuitive eating approach. You can’t expect to be an intuitive eater when you can’t discern hunger and fullness, or when the disordered or diet thoughts are so loud that you can’t trust your physical sensations.

But wait, there’s more.

There were two experiences I wanted to share, remember? The second involves the presentation by Dr. Olivardia, mentioned above, who spoke about ADHD and eating disorders. He highlighted that a very high percentage of obese individuals have undiagnosed ADHD, and identified characteristics of this condition that make it oh-so-challenging to just do it, to follow seemingly reasonable nutrition and behavior recommendations.

For instance, impulsivity. Perhaps if you don’t have ADHD it’s challenging, but manageable, to take a break and have an internal discussion about whether or not you really want to be eating the whole package of cookies, to not respond to your impulse to eat. But in those with impulse control, that discussion comes a bit late. If you struggle with this, you may find yourself eating mindlessly before you’ve even gotten to check in with your signals. And if you eat rather fast, as is typical, you’ll take in a lot of extra calories before the signal of fullness has hit.

Then there’s boredom. Are you still with me? Those with ADHD have a much harder time tolerating boredom. If you struggle with sitting with feeling bored, it may be more difficult to simply acknowledge that you’re not hungry and redirect. Eating to manage this boredom might be the action of choice. Not a very intuitive eating supportive choice!

And while we often think those with attention issues as struggling to stay focused, Dr. Olivardia points out that these very individuals also get hyper-focused on the things they are interested in. This can explain the failure to listen to their hunger, perhaps when they are over-focused on other things. By the time they do respond to their physical hunger they may be ravenous, contributing to overeating. Or maybe there’s an OCD component, with a focus on calories and calorie counting, which may stand in the way of responding to physical cues. Again, making intuitive eating quite a challenge.

To be a successful intuitive eater, you need to be mindful of what you are consuming. Not so easy of you have ADHD and your norm is to multitask! My typical recommendations to separate eating from distractions may not be realistic for those living with ADHD, those for whom multitasking is simply the norm.

What now?

For the record, I am a big advocate of intuitive eating and for years have recommended a fabulous book on the subject by RDs Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Do take a look for more guidance on learning to be an intuitive eater.

Surely it’s not hopeless if you fit the descriptions above. To become a more intuitive eater requires more organization to your eating, including preplanning eating times and even meals. Organizational skills may not come so easy, so use tools like alarm reminders, such as on your phone or computer, and make shopping lists. Arrange eating times with friends or family for greater accountability, too. Utilize simple, easy-to-follow cookbooks, where close-to-immediate gratification occurs (with recipes taking 20 minutes or less, for instance.) Yes, Food to Eat fits the bill! And seek the guidance of an ADHD expert like Olivardia, along with an RD with a behavioral focus.

And please be realistic—and less harsh—if you’re prone to berate yourself for being lazy. There may be good reasons why you’re falling short with your follow-through with intuitive eating.

Thoughts? Comments? I’d love to hear what you’re thinking.

Here’s to a Speedy Recovery? Not So Fast!

Alan came in yesterday and he put it right out there. “I was really disappointed with our visit last month.”, he shared. “I expected to lose more that the 6 pounds given all the work I had done”. More than a pound per week achieved through his modest dietary changes and his move from a sedentary activity level wasn’t enough. Sure he was feeling better—sleeping better, less heartburn, more energy—but still the weight loss wasn’t enough.

Thinking this portion should satisfy? Maybe not!

I wish I could say this was an atypical occurrence. Rather, many a patient, and a parent, present painfully honest about their dissatisfaction. Not with me, I’ll add, but with themselves, their child, their spouse. Really, they struggle to make sense of the reality of changing behaviors with their vision of what shouldbe.

And if you’re like them, it’s not your fault for struggling with this. Ever watch The Biggest Loser? Those who get thrown off the show for not losing fast enough lost 7 or so pounds—in only one week! How about those Jenny Craig and other diet program ads—the ones with those alluring before and after photos with the oh-so-tiny-print revealing for legal reasons, that “results are not typical”? (For the record, losing rapidly will ultimately result in rapid weight increase, preoccupation with food and weight and a host of other consequences).

Perhaps you’re dealing with an eating disorder. These past 2 weeks I’ve watched as my patient’s insurance company repeatedly rejected her pleas for treatment. Alison long struggled with anorexia and bulimia and after much work on the part of her providers (myself included) had agreed to enter a program. I thought that was the hard part. But then the tables turned and she became the one who had to fight for coverage for appropriate care; in the eyes of the insurer, 15 or 20 years entrenched in her eating disorder should surely be remedied in a couple of weeks in a program! Even her providers at the treatment center—no doubt influenced by the regulations and coverage struggles they’ve come to accept—seemed to take that stand, despite her recent slip when left on her own.

You just might encounter some obstacles.

Your difficulties in recovery may be influenced by your unrealistic expectations of the process of recovery or of changing behavior. Like Alan, you may take a “why bother?” approach and throw caution to the wind, sabotaging your progress because you sense you’ve already failed.

Sarah’s parents recently emailed me concerning their anorexic teenage daughter whom I’ve been working with. “She’s been making a point of going out more for dinners and she’d stopped keeping a food record”. Potentially cause for alarm? Maybe. But in Sarah’s case it was anything but. She had make remarkable progress with weight restoration over the preceding months and had been forthcoming about her difficulties—when they occurred. The dinners out? Now that she was more comfortable eating in restaurants and having others prepare her food she was stepping out; it was not an attempt to avoid parental mealtime supervision. And the lack of record keeping? Sarah was working on moving toward more intuitive eating at this point, and we had agreed to move from the daily food logs and exchange list accountability. I am not faulting involved parents in the least. But sometimes change is a good thing, as in Sarah’s case.

Some families expect recovery to be like ER treatment—you come in in a crisis, you get emergency treatment, like surgery or a new medication and you’re discharged to home and fixed. Unfortunately, eating disorder recovery is nothing like this.

So what to do when you live in a world filled with outrageous messages and your unrealistic timeframe for change is far from attainable? Focus on the immediate benefits of the positive changes you’re making, versus dwelling on the disappointments and frustrations. Consider not just the shoulds, as in “I know I’m supposed to be eating better, so that’s good” or “I know that this will help me down the road to prevent heart disease”. 

Don't expect to feel so positive all the time!

Consider the benefits many of my patients shared this week:

• my energy level is so much better

• I’m thinking more clearly

• I’m less preoccupied with what, when, how much to eat and I’ve stopped counting calories!

• my worst fears haven’t come true, in spite of my resistance to making the changes

• it’s getting easier to do the tasks I initially struggled with

• I’m seeing the impact of my role modeling on my young kids

• I was able to have a scoop of ice cream and trust that it would be there if I wanted more later!

• I baked and ate what I baked for the first time in years! (from Food to Eat, I’ll add!)

I also saw improved blood sugars in diabetics—with less than Biggest Loser amounts of weight loss, and I heard from both patients and families about improved mood and decreased irritability.

I realize that the positives, like those described above, may also occur side by side some negative experiences. For those starting to eat more as instructed, the physical sensations can be challenging. And anxiety, for many, is a real challenge and may need to be tackled with support from your therapist and MD. I don’t want to paint an unrealistic rosy picture, suggesting that all you need to do is adjust your thinking!

We’d all like a speedy recovery, as the expression goes. But in order to move there, we just might need to adjust our expectations.

Remember Patience?

Your thoughts?